Confession time… I Caitlin am a recovering perfectionist! There I said it! I don’t know about you, but I have been a perfectionist my entire life. I can remember times even as a small child where I was constantly trying to make everything perfect. Everything had to be in its exact right spot, everything had to be done just the right way, and there was no room for error. I mean y’all I was bad. I mean bad. I was that kid who didn’t want to turn in an assignment because it wasn’t perfect. But I can honestly say as I have grown older I have gotten better, hence the name recovering perfectionist. Having said that I find that there are still three big things that my perfectionism often gets in the way of and they are time management, launching early and ugly, and being creative.
I have always been pretty good at planning out my days and when I am going to do things, but what I have found unfortunately is that with perfectionism comes a difficulty in maintaining a schedule. For example if I played for something to take 30 minutes it may actually take an hour because I spent 20 some minutes trying to make it perfect, and look exactly right.
This is something I have learned since becoming a business owner and that is the importance of launching things early and ugly no matter if they are perfect or not. And let me tell you for a recovering perfectionist that is very hard. The idea of putting something out there that may not be perfect or 100% ready is terrifying to say the least. I mean what would people think. Those are all things that would and still do run through my mind when I get ready to put something new out there.
Being creative is probably the thing that I didn’t expect to be affected by my perfectionism, but in reality it makes the most sense. I find that it is often hard to be truly creative because the analytical perfectionist part of my brain says no that’s not good enough to almost everything creative that I do. I mean I guess they do directly contradict each other, but I find it interesting nonetheless that my creative is often affected by my need for everything to be perfect.
Now I am not saying that being a perfectionist is all bad, in fact there are some good things about it, but it definitely comes with its own form of struggles. For me I find that time management, launching early and ugly, and being creative are what seem to be most affected by my perfectionist mentality probably because they are the things that directly go against the idea of being perfect. Either way I know that the farther away from perfect I move the closer to authenticity I move, and I am ok with that.