Self doubt sucks! There I said it, and girl I know that you agree. There is nothing easy or pleasant about dealing with self doubt, so I want to take today to address the ugly monster known as self doubt. Now I will be the very first to admit that I have struggled with self doubt, especially as an entrepreneur, coach, and women, so this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. It is something that my clients struggle with on a regular basis, and I want you to know that it is totally normal if you are struggling with it to. After all we are only human, and self doubt is completely normal, but what isn’t normal or healthy is when we let that self doubt control our lives.
In my opinion there are three big things that often lead to self doubt, and they are low self esteem, seeking external validation, and dealing with comparison, and let’s face it none of those thing are peachy or easy to deal with. Because I feel that these three things tend to be the cause of self doubt I wanted to take some time today to delve deeper into each one.
Low self esteem or low confidence are often rooted in fear. When we are scared of something we tend to not take action, and taking action is how we grow our confidence. Now don’t get me wrong I know there is nothing easy about being confident, in fact it is actually really hard to be self confident. I wish it was as simple as waking up in the morning, and saying that we are going to be confident, but it isn’t, so we have to make a conscious effort to take action on the things that scare us and slowly but surely we will build up our self confidence, and ultimately lower our self doubt of lack of belief in ourself.
Seeking external validation is something that I think has unfortunately become a huge part of our society, but it is one of the biggest causes of self doubt. When we are constantly looking for someone else to validate our experiences, our thoughts, our appearance, etc. we put ourself in a place of needed someone else to approve our life, and without them we are left not knowing whether or not we are actually good enough. In order to combat self doubt we have to look at how we are validating ourselves. If we are looking for internal validation on the things that we do then we are looking into ourselves to justify out actions, and then we start to value our own opinions and beliefs, and ultimately value ourselves. This helps to decrease self doubt, and low belief in ourselves.
Dealing with comparison is the third thing I have found that causes or leads to self doubt and a lack of belief in ourselves, and boy is it prevalent in our society, and especially among women. Now I don’t know about you, but this is definitely something I found have myself struggling with not only as a woman, but also as a coach. I find myself asking am I enough this or enough that compared to those around me or those I see in the online space, and that is definitely a dangerous road to go down. In this day and age of social media especially there seems to be this extremely prevalent societal pressure to compare ourselves to those we see online, and it has to stop. Comparison is totally normal as human beings, but when we let it take over our lives we are setting ourselves up for a dangerous mindset. We have to take note of this comparisonitis so to speak, and recognize why we are comparing ourselves to others, and then release that judgement we have on ourselves. When you realize that you don’t need to compare yourself to others your self doubt and belief in yourself will begin to rise.
Self doubt is a pesky monster, that often rears its ugly head when we least expect it. From my own experience, and working with my coaching clients I have found that self doubt is absolutely a normal human emotion, but letting it take over our life is not. Additionally I have found that self doubt tends to come as a result of three main things; low self esteem and confidence, seeking external validation, and dealing with comparison. These little devils so to speak are what forms self doubt and a lack of belief in ourselves, so if you want to address your belief in yourself and combat self doubt you have to start addressing these things first. If you are struggling with self doubt and a lack of belief in yourself I encourage you to reach out for a complimentary call with me, and let’s see how I can help you overcome that monster and fully believe in yourself and your dreams.